The Adventures of RedSonia: Nature's Perfect Food

So, after my last couple posts were so serious, I thought I’d lighten shit up and take it to a more fun place and tell you about the best lunch in the world – the burrito. As a bike messenger, I’ve got a super energetic job, and I have to eat a TON of food just to maintain. A lot of people think I can eat “anything I want”, but this is not true. I really notice a lack of energy if I’ve been eating poorly and not sleeping right. I can feel my belly stretching the belt loops after too much fried food and beer, so it’s really important that I at least try to eat healthy. Thing is, it can be tough, because a lot of healthy foods don’t keep me full for long or they’re outrageously expensive, especially when you’re constantly on-the-go.

Chicken wraps are great, but I have to eat like 6 of them if I’m gonna feel full & satisfied till dinner, and a fresh-tossed spinach salad would be great for lunch but for $10? Not a chance. So for those reasons, my favourite lunchtime meal has become the burrito. Good God in heaven I could eat one every day for breakfast, lunch and dinner and never tire of it. I take mine fully loaded with absolutely everything on offer except for green bell peppers – yuck – and on a white tortilla. I’ve tried the whole wheat and it just has a funny funky flavour I’m not down with.

Recently in Toronto, there’s been a real burrito boom in the city. Lots of places have popped up, each with their own take on this fantastic food. Starting with Burrito Boys on Peter Street – since changed to Burrito Banditos – places have popped up all over the place in food courts and street corners. Here’s my review of the best.


Heavenly - I'm getting hungry!!

Burrito Banditos – 120 Peter Street, and others

http://www.burritobandidos.com/v2/

These guys were the original bad boys of the Toronto burrito scene. Originally owned by two dudes as a partnership called “Burrito Boyz”, they were smart and opened a burrito joint in the heart of clubland and kept the sucker open late-ass for all the hungries stumbling around at drunken rush hour. This burrito is pretty awesome. Refried pinto beans, fresh fixin’s, rice and yummy secret burrito sauce make it awesome. I’m bruk-pocket so I’ve never tried the fish burrito, but I still love the chickens and steaks. Best bet is to call about 10mins before you go so the pick up goes quickly, lines can stretch out at lunch time. Thing is, lately it seems like they haven’t been draining the grease from the meats before they add seasoning, so before you know it, you have a see-through paper bag. All well and good if it’s cheap nasty pizza you’re after, but kinda gross in a burrito.

8.5/10

Burrito Boyz – 218 Adelaide Street West, others

http://www.burritoboyz.ca/

Once the partnership dissolved and the Banditos sold their share in the Boyz, these guys opened up in the heart of clubland to satisfy all the drunk zombies after the clubs let out. Smart as hell business decision. But last time I tried these guys’ burrito, it was soggy and greasy. As far as burritos go, the refried pintos were on point, sauses top-notch, but the grease and limp tortilla were a real turn-off. Pretty good over all, but toast that shit a little longer, would ya?

8/10

Big Fat Burrito – 285 Augusta Avenue, others

http://www.bigfatburrito.ca/Contact.aspx

As mentioned before, I’m pretty broke most of the time, and these guys can get expensive for their meat burritos, so I usually order the sweet potato burrito. They can chinse on the fresh stuff inside, so it ends up being pretty mushy, sometimes bland. Perhaps it’s that they don’t spice up the sweet potato much and just scoop out a baked one and that’s that. Overall, pretty “meh”.

5/10

Ew! Green peppers and unmelted cheese!

Quesada Mexican Grill – 2221 Yonge Street, others

http://www.quesada.ca/

My usual lunch spot when I get some standby at Yonge and Eglinton, these guys know my face, but oddly enough don’t know my order by now. No matta, they do it up right. Though the artistry of the burrito varies from location to location, generally the ingredients and sauces are damn fantastic. The thing I love about them is that they offer not refried, but cooked beans and your choice of black beans or pinto. I’m a big fan of the black bean option. Fully loaded with everything (but green peppers – yuck) I’d recommend medium or mild salsa with all the sauces. The smoked chipotle and the habanero mayo together set off all the fresh ingredients like a fireworks display of flavours in your mouth. Mmmmm I’m getting hungry as I type. The only thing is that the rookie burrito rollers don’t quite know how long is long enough to toast the outside. Soggy tortilla is just a let-down. Recently, I stopped in at the King Street West / Church Street location and was super impressed with the skills of the girl behind the sneeze-guard. Overall, my favourite in Toronto.

9.5/10

Chipotle – 2323 Yonge Street, others

http://www.chipotle.com/en-US/Default.aspx

Apparently this joint uses locally-sourced meats and veggies and hails itself to be socially responsible and environmentally conscious. Though I’m all for it, their prices are FUCKING OUTRAGEOUS so I’ve never even ordered that shit. Take a hike.

Too Bougie For Me/10

Moe’s Southwest Grill – 35 Eglinton East (closed), others

http://www.moes.com/

See “Chipotle” review regarding price. GTFOHWTS

Forget It/10